The Spot

I've been thinking a lot about long term relationships lately, for a variety of reasons. A few close friends have been breaking up, which brings up the inevitable "Why? Why? Why?". I think it's important to deflect this painful question to the more constructive "What next?", but in the quiet that follows I have to admit: it's a good question to ask.

I still don't know why my first committed relationship didn't work. Why indeed? The dumped face an icky dichotomy:

• I wasn't sexy / smart / independent / dependent or rich enough, or
• I'm fine, they're scum... and I feel in love with them.
  

"It's not you, it's me" is cold comfort, actually. What, you're the problem? So, I can't trust my judgement?

In some ways it's easier to believe I'm the problem: at least I have some control over me.

Getting past all that bitterness and drama, I think it's important to think about this stuff even when you're sailing smooth seas. Right now I'm trying to develop a marriage that I hope will last a lifetime. With so few good contemporaneous relationships to look to, it's difficult to figure out what qualities I should be developing or emulating.

It's sort of similar to my last post, actually. I know a good marriage [like a good budget] will require sacrifices, I just don't know which ones to make. And you only get to do this once.

I wish life were more like Knights of the Old Republic. I'd save every time I have to make a decision.

Non Sequiters are my speciality :)
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