The Spot

I had a fight with my roomie this morning. Ick.
It was about money, of course. Damage deposit, to be more precise.
I won't go into the merits of our arguments, as tempting as that is. My rants may be entertaining [FUDU!] but that's because I get to indulge in a one-sided debate.

Instead, I'm trying to take something from it.
In this specific case I wish I hadn't left the deposit 'till now. If we don't have this solved before I leave I kind of deserve it. Should've done it weeks ago.

But in a general sense... I think our fight is a reflection of deeper-seated anxieties. I'm not living with my roomate next year: we got along, but I think I could be happier with someone else. She's a little miffed, and once you're not on good terms with your roomate every_little_thing is suffused with tension.

I now understand the hit-and-run school of switching roomates. You're tempted not to tell the current one until it's almost time to leave, so you don't have to live with their pissiness.
Not that I'm doing that. Hence the tension.

Anyway, looking at the big picture I think I've figured something out about living with people. This is no small decision: it'll really affect your life. Besides, because people are so complex and varied, it's quite ok to recognize that you can be friends with someone, they can be really cool, but you won't make good roomates. It's not that you're better or worse, just different.
I think students are often forced to live with someone they don't know that well, hoping that as the year goes on they will somehow mesh.

Wishful thinking. If you want a really good roomate situation, look around. Who do you spend all your time with? Are you practically living at your friend's house? They should be your roomate. You're close enough that if anything [shared groceries, bills, deposits, noise] comes up you can deal with it amicably. You have a foundation of goodwill. You've gotta work through it: you're friends.

I suspect we had this fight because we both know it's almost over: why bother being civil when it won't matter in a few days?

G_d, I can't wait 'till next year. Angie's full of compromise, and when we disagree it doesn't become personal.
And I'm in love with my other roomate. Mmmmm.
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